Alone Together
by Feli Vargas
Summary: After moving to a new town, Gil struggles to be accepted. Then he meets the boy just as alone as he is. Fail summary is fail, the story's better... AU names are used
1. With Red Eyes

Hey Hetalia lovers! I was ina bad mood yesterday and got inspired to write this story. This is a PruCan, there may be smut in later chapters but for now it's going to stay T...

**Summary: **After moving to a new town, Gil struggles to be accepted. Then he meets the boy just as alone as he is. Fail summary is fail story's better

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**Chapter One: **With Red Eyes

He stared at the blood as it rolled down his pale wrist and dripped to the white tile floor. The pain had brought a slight smile, even as tears streamed down his face. The release felt so good, as if opening his wrists had opened some hidden door to all the stress that had built up inside of him. In the teen's mind, his razors were all that comforted him; they convinced him that, indeed, he was real and, no, it wasn't a nightmare.

He picked himself up off the floor of his new bathroom and began to rinse off his most recent set of cuts. After disinfecting them, he wrapped them in clean, white bandages and pulled his black flannel sleeves over them. His eyes lifted to the mirror, filling with self-loathing as he saw his reflection. _Why can't I be normal? Why do I have to be a _freak? Red eyes glared back at him, overflowing with tears once more.

Then he heard a banging on his door. "Bruder! Vater wants you to come down for dinner! You haven't eaten all day!"

The sound of the boy's younger brother was enough to snap him out of his state enough to wash his face, trying to clear it of any signs of his tears. Quickly, he cleaned up the blood with a towel and threw it in the hamper. _I'll have to do laundry when no one's home_, he thought.

Running a hand through his platinum blond hair, the boy walked out of his room, putting on an arrogant air to mask his depression. "Ja, ja. I'm coming. The awesome me was too busy all day for trivial things like eating." His voice had a slight German accent, and was filled with arrogance, as if he was too good for food.

His brother looked him over, noting how his eyes were bloodshot, as if he had been crying. He's sighed, then asked smartly, "Oh yeah, doing what, exactly? Gilbert, I don't expect you to prance around and sing songs of joy, but at least be thankful for the change. I think it will help."

The change Gilbert's brother was talking about was them moving, of course. In the last town they lived in there were too many enemies for Gilbert to live there. Because of his stark white hair and blood red eyes, and the townspeople being superstitious fools, Gilbert was pegged as a demon-spawn. The villagers harassed him everywhere he went, and school was hell. The German was excluded from everything, and was a regular target for jocks to use to show off their muscles. Even if Gil could hold his own against the jocks sloppy beatings, the constant harassments took a toll on his self-esteem. He started to believe he was devil-spawn, that he didn't belong on earth, that he was w_rong_.

That was when he tried to commit suicide to get away. His brother, Ludwig, found him though, before he had a chance to jump, and stopped Gilbert from going through with it. Their Vater was furious, and after a long psychiatric session with Gilbert, decided it was time to leave the town he had grown up in and move somewhere that Gilbert could be accepted.

_This place isn't much better_, Gil thought as he followed Ludwig downstairs. _Still I hear whispers as I walk by; people avoid me at all costs, trying not to talk with the freak with red eyes. _

Not paying any attention to where he was walking, Gil almost ran into a priceless vase his Mutter had gotten from Germany. He would have, if Ludwig had not grabbed his wrist and pulled him so that he stumbled sideways. Gilbert winced and let out a gasp of pain as Ludwig's tight grip crushed his fresh cuts, probably opening up a few of the scabs.

"Watch where you are going! You know what Vater would be like if you broke one of Mutter's vases." Ludwig barked orders at Gilbert as if he was the oldest, not the other way around.

Gilbert flinched again as Ludwig's grip involuntarily tightened as he spoke. He almost whimpered the words as he said, "Alright! Just let go of my wrist already!" Ludwig did so, and then stalked into the dining room. Gilbert rubbed his wrist, then, making sure his bandages were covered, walked into the dining room for what was going to be a wonderfully awkward dinner.

X*X*X*Page Break*X*X*X

As soon as he had cleared his plate of food, Gilbert rushed back up to his room, locking the door behind him. Sighing, he practically fell onto his bed. He reached for his phone and, seeing he had a message, flipped it open. It was from one of the two friends he had managed to make in the past month of living here. Francis was always the planner, and Gil saw he wanted to go see a movie after school the next day.

Replying with a quick **'sure, just not a chick flick… again :P'** Gilbert threw his phone across the room and kicked his shoes off. He rolled over and grabbed his Skullcandy headphones off of the bedside table and put on a playlist of mostly metal bands. Gil closed his eyes, not realizing how tired he was. Soon he drifted off into an uneasy slumber.

Dreams were what Gilbert dreaded most. Each night he hoped for a dreamless sleep, but it was rare that ever happened. Tonight was no exception:

_The moon rose over a dark town. There was not a soul in the streets, everyone had either hid or ran. Gilbert slowly crept into town, wondering what had scared them so badly. There was no sign of an attack, no sign of anything happening within the town._

_He had reached the center of town, marked by an elaborate fountain of crying angels, when he heard it. There was a low, rumbling laugh emanating from the fountain. Looking closer, Gilbert saw that every angel's eyes were closed. He stepped forward to get a better look, and the eyes snapped open to reveal blood red irises._

_Slowly, the angels unfurled their wings, and flew into the air, surrounding Gilbert. In an eerie unison the whispered, "Join us, Gilbert. You belong here, with us. There is no place for you but here." Their voices pounded inside of his head, as if they were a part of him._

_Clutching his skull, Gilbert fell to his knees. He tried to push the foreign voices out of his mind, but they were too strong. They overpowered him, ripping his sanity away. Gilbert gave one short cry, and fell the cobblestone street, unconscious._

Gilbert sat up in his bed, gasping, trying to control his emotions. Tears stung his eyes, but he forced them back. He was drenched in sweat, his white hair sticking to his chalky face. Glancing at the clock beside him, he flopped back onto his pillows. _Four in the morning. Really? Why can't I get a full night of sleep, just once?_

With a groan, Gilbert sat up, throwing his blankets off of him._ Might as well get up, there's no way I'll be able to sleep now._ He shuffled to his bathroom, turning on the hot water for a shower. Stepping in, Gil sighed in relief as the hot water warmed his body.

When he was finished with his hygiene, he walked back to his room, throwing on a pair of purple skinny jeans and another black flannel, making sure it was long-sleeved. While he was lacing up his black converse, he heard his phone go off. "Why the hell are you up already, Francis?" Gil groaned as he went to retrieve his phone from where it had landed the night before.

Flipping it open, Gil read **'If you don't like my choices then pick the movie yourself! Oh, and I'll be picking you up for school in my new car ;)'** A look of horror crossed Gilbert's face as he realized_ Francis can legally drive me and Tonio now .Oh, shit. We are all going to die. _Sending his thoughts to his friend, Gilbert braced himself for an interesting day at school.

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This is the first fanfic I've had the courage to post, and I'm not sure if I'll continue it sooo...Review and let me know! :)


	2. I'm Not My Brother

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! They made me happy, I really didn't think people would actually read this xD

Anywho this is the next part, and I'm not really sure if I like how it turned out *super critical of my own work -_-* I wrote this chapter while listening to the HetaOni soundtrack and drinking chocolate milk :]

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**Chapter 2****:** I'm Not My Brother

_English class sucks. I'm so done here. _Gilbert internally groaned, then raised his hand to 'go to the bathroom'. Grabbing the pass, the teen practically sprinted out of the room, running up to the top floor. Carefully, making sure there was no one around, Gilbert snuck through the door leading to the roof. He made sure it made no noise as he slid it closed._ She won't even notice I'm gone…. It's lunch now, right?_

The roof was closed off with a chain link fence, but was very spacious. There were only a few chimney-like objects sticking up out of the roof, everything else was just flat. From the roof Gilbert could see the gym class playing softball in the field, the druggies sneaking out for a quick smoke while their teachers weren't looking, and cars coming and going in the parking lot for various reasons. He walked to the fence and sat down with his back to the fields.

Sliding his eyes closed, Gil ran a hand through his hair. _Why can't I just be home schooled or something?_ He thought about what that would be like, frowning at what came up. _Vater would just yell at me and say I'm useless, as usual._ Gilbert sat there for a while, listening to all the happy people with their happy lives, wondering who he would be if he wasn't albino.

Gilbert sat there longer than he had thought and soon he heard a commotion through the door. _Shit now I can't leave 'til the bell rings. Madame is going to strangle me for being late… again._ Before he could even stand up though, the door creaked open and a small boy ran out onto the roof. He was crying, and looked like he was being chased.

In possibly the quietest voice Gilbert had ever heard the boy 'yelled', "I'm not who you think I am! You've got the wrong person! Please, just go away!" He tripped on seemingly nothing and sprawled onto the ground, failing to catch himself. A hulking man then walked out of the door with an evil grin on his face. He sauntered over to the boy, kicking him roughly when he got close enough.

Immediately, Gilbert jumped up, about to go to the boys defense. As he ran over to the pair he shouted, "Hey! Leave that kid alone! What the hell did he do to you?" He pushed back the man before he could kick the boy again. "Stay away from him."

After his initial shock of Gilbert's albino appearance, the brute scoffed, "Oh yeah? What's a pip-squeak _freak_ like you gunna do 'bout it?" he lunged to push Gilbert down, but Gil side-stepped then punched him square it the jaw. The brute stumbled, then regained his composure, "Got a lil spunk in ya, huh? I'll just have to beat it outta you!" And with that the two teens started a fist fight, with the small boy watching in horror.

After a bit, Gilbert gained confidence and gave his opponent quite a few bruises, successfully scaring him away. Gil made sure the brute was gone, then closed the door, and winced as he turned to check on the boy whom he had just defended.

Gil hadn't gotten a good look at the boy, and even now he was curled up and covering his face. Cautiously, he called out, "Hey, you alright kid?" The boy looked up, and although his sight was hampered by his shaggy hair, Gil could see a nasty bruise forming around his eye. The boy also looked familiar. "You're name wouldn't happen to be Alfred, would it?"

At that comment the boy's eyes filled with terror, he raised his arms, as if to protect himself, and whimpered, "No, I swear I'm not Alfred! I'm his twin brother. Please, please, please don't hurt me! I'm sorry for whatever my brother did to you but I'm not him! I could promise you some—"

"Woah, woah, slow down, kid. I know you aren't Alfred. Alfred wouldn't have let that asshole push him around. He also would have been beating me to a pulp if he saw me anywhere within 100 meters of him. So, since clearly you aren't him, who are you?" Gilbert walked over to the boy, but didn't look him in the eye, since clearly he hadn't really _seen_ Gilbert. _If he had he wouldn't still be here. Clearly this kid has been abused, and wouldn't appreciate a freak like me to comfort him._

"W-well, my name is M-Mathew, Mathew Williams, and I-I'm really grateful for you stopping that b-bully, but… w-what do you mean Al would beat you to a pulp?" Mathew looked up, but Gilbert had stood up and faced away from him, hiding his face.

There was silence for a minute, and when Gilbert spoke, his voice was filled with scorn, "Let's just say he doesn't approve of me…. Even if I can't help what I am." The last part he muttered to himself, but Mathew seemed to have heard.

"W-what do you mean by that?" Mathew stood up and shuffled over to where Gilbert stood. He reached out, trying to turn Gilbert around.

Gilbert flinched, then turned and stared Mathew straight in the eye, for once relishing the fear the clearly showed in the boy's eyes upon seeing Gil's blood red irises. Chuckling a bit without really finding any amusement in the situation, he stated with clear contempt, "Why wouldn't he? I'm a freak. It's not like I deserve mercy."

The smaller teen looked down, his emotions hidden behind a look of confusion. Quietly, he said, "But… everyone deserves a chance to prove their worth before being judged…. And you proved that you're a good person by saving me just now…"

What Mathew said shocked Gilbert. _ He… thinks I'm a… good person? But… no one thinks I'm good… or even useful… _"I'm not as good as you think I am…. Trust me, first impressions don't really mean much… especially when everyone's first impression is that you are the spawn of the devil."

Mathew, who had backed up with Gilbert unexpectedly turned around, looked at him with violet eyes, the oddest color Gil had ever seen, excluding his own, and spoke once more, "Well, I don't think you're a devil-spawn or whatever…. You're just a regular teen trying to get through high school. It's stupid that people judge you because of your red eyes, even if they are a tad startling at first."

It was Gil's turn to be confused now, "So, wait…. You don't think I'm evil or some bull like that?" _This kid is weird…. I like it._

Mathew shook his head, and then looked at his watch, "Oh maple! I'm going to be late for class!" He started to run off the roof, but stopped at the door, looking back at Gil, "Oh… and thanks for saving me again, um…. Oh maple, I don't know your name…."

Gilbert chortled at Mathew's shyness, then told him, "The name's Gilbert Beilschmidt. It's a pretty awesome name, huh?" He walked over to Mathew, waiting for him to walk into the hall before speaking again, "We should hang out sometime, you seem kind of awesome! Try not to get beaten up again!" And with that he ran off towards his French class (which he was totally late for… like, really late).

As Gilbert ran away, Mathew faintly whispered, "Yeah, sure. Bye… Gilbert." He then walked to class with a smile on his face for the first time in ages.

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Reviews are always appreciated! I hope you liked it and I'll try to update in the next couple days!


	3. Hey, I Know You

Hi there! Here's the next chapter! It's really long for my standards, so I hope you enjoy!

The first part is in Mathew's perspective, I wanted to write a bit of him today so, yeah, that happened. Oh and I forgot to do this in the first two chapters but I DON'T OWN HETALIA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS WITHIN IT. If I did, all of my OTPs would be cannon, and I would probably be crying with joy... Anywho, without further adoo, READ THE CHAPTER! (please)

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**Chapter 3: Hey, I Know You**

After his experience meeting the strange albino, Mathew couldn't stop thinking about him. Gilbert Beilschmidt filled his thoughts for the rest of the day. _He noticed me, even saved me. Then he knew I wasn't Alfred…. He saw that I was different. Gilbert… noticed me._ Just the thought made Mathew grin like a fool as he drove his piece of junk car into the parking lot of the movie theater where he worked.

He punched his timecard in, and then Mathew put on his vest and went the snack counter, bracing himself for another day of spoiled kids whining for more candy. He watched for hours as people came and went, laughing, joking, enjoying them-selves, and never giving the small Canadian boy a second glance. That is, until he saw the very person that he had just been daydreaming about.

Mathew felt his face heat up as Gilbert walked over to the counter with two kids Mathew recognized from school. Gil had an expression on that Mathew could only describe as pouting as he whined, "Why can't we go watch Madagascar 3? You said I could pick the movie, French-Fry!" _Did he just stomp his foot? _

They teen with long blonde hair sighed, and said with a thick French accent, "Because I don't feel like watching a kid's movie and then listening to you sing 'Afro Circus' for the rest of the night. We are going to watch Magic Mike and that's final."

The third member of the group then gave a look of terror to the French one, exclaiming in a Spanish accented voice, "Oh no! Don't tell my beloved Lovi that I'm going to see this! He would be so jealous! He hates when I look at other men!"

They had reached the counter, and Mathew saw Gilbert roll his eyes. Then Gilbert looked over at Mathew and did a double take. He scrunched his face up, and then smiled as he seemed to remember something, "Hey! I know you! It's, um… Mattie, right?" Said Canadian turned slightly pink and nodded. _Oh maple, he actual remembered my name!_ "I didn't know you worked here! That's awesome!"

Mathew blushed even more and mumbled something along the lines of 'yeah, right. So what do you want?'

The Frenchman raised his hand slightly and pointed at Mathew, saying in a deep, sensual voice, "_Je veux que vous… au lit._" He then winked at Mathew, as said Canadian's face turned red in embarrassment and anger.

He tried to raise his voice, and managed to say "_Non merci, Je préfère ne pas aller dans votre lit. Maintenant Laissez-moi tranquille._" This made the whole group gasp, particularly the Frenchman.

He laughed a strange laugh, it almost sounded like he was going 'ohonhonhon', then reverted back to English, "In that case, I'll have some popcorn. Call me if you change your mind though." He winked again, before Gilbert pushed him out of the way.

Gilbert chuckled, yelling a quick "Stop sexually harassing innocent people!" Then he looked to the Spaniard, "What do you want, Churro?" The Spaniard mumbled something about M&M's and a soda; Gilbert leaned on the glass counter, looking at all the candy. He glanced up at Mathew and inquired, "What's your favorite? I don't know what I want."

"Uh, um… I like, uh, Skittles, I guess…."

Mathew looked more than a little flustered, which made Gilbert give a lop-sided grin and chuckle, "Alright, then I'll have Skittles, 'cause if Mattie likes 'em they must be awesome!"

Mathew got what they ordered and told Gilbert how much they owed. The teen pulled out an expensive-looking wallet and counted his bills. As he handed the money to the small Canadian his hand brushed Mathew's hand, making Mathew blush and look down at his feet. _What the…? I'm not crushing on Gilbert…. Am I? _He scoffed at the thought, _no, he just has soft hands… yeah, that's it…._

Gilbert's friends picked up their stuff and started walking away, then stopped, waiting for Gilbert. Gilbert grabbed his Skittles, then looked at Mathew, "Oh, and I was serious about the whole 'let's hang out' thing." He winked, then turned to catch up to his friends.

x*x*x*Back to our favorite Prussian!*x*x*x

Gilbert stumbled out of Cinema 3 after watching Magic Mike with Francis and Antonio and unconsciously looked to the snack counter to see the strangely shy Canadian boy getting ready to leave. _It'd be totally awesome to hang out with him and see if he opens up a little. Maybe I should go talk to hi-_

His thoughts were cut off as Antonio punched his shoulder, "Mi amigo, pay attention!" Apparently they had been talking to Gilbert…. Oops. "French-Fry's going to drive me home. See you tomorrow, amigo!" Gilbert pouted slightly, but then remembered he had driven himself to the theater. Gilbert had borrowed his Vater's car after school. _There was no way I was letting that Frenchman drive me more than necessary._

"_Bonne nuit_, Snowflake!" Francis waved girlishly then left for his (very sexy) Mercedes-Benz, followed by the always upbeat Antonio.

Gilbert grumbled unhappily about the completely UN-awesome nickname and glanced, once again, at the snack counter. This time, though, there was some old lady with obviously dyed hair and a too small shirt. Shuddering, the teen thought, _Verdammt, I missed him. I'll have to find him at school or something…._

Making his way to the parking lot, Gilbert realized he had no idea where he had parked. "Scheiße. Where the hell is that stupid car?" He pulled out his keys and clicked the alarm button-thingy and suddenly there was an annoying car alarm going off somewhere around the corner.

Following the sound, Gilbert sighed and thought about Mathew. He had been thinking about the boy pretty much since he had burst out onto the roof. _He didn't run from me, and he even said I was a good person…. _The albino ran a hand through his hair as he turned the corner and located his (father's) car. Turning the alarm off, he saw there was a car next to his, and it sounded like it was having an asthma attack (because cars definitely can have asthma). He jogged the rest of the way to his car, calling out, "Hey do you need any help?"

The driver's door opened and a familiar teen got out of the really beat up junker. Softly he said, "Um, yeah…. That'd be nice…." He looked over then and saw who had been asking. He blushed, and stuttered more as he continued, "Uh, um, M-my phone is d-dead and my crappy c-car won't s-start…. C-could I p-possibly use your ph-phone f-for a minute?"

"Yeah, of course you can!" Gilbert fished his phone out of the pocket and handed it to Mathew. "Uh, don't mind the smell…. I kinda sorta dropped it in a milkshake the other day…." He scratched the back of his head nervously as Mathew giggled softly, then scrunched up his nose when he smelled the phone. _Oh gott, that face was freaking adorable. I mean, um, scheiße. I totally don't think the kid is cute, that'd be so un-awesome._

Gilbert waited impatiently as Mathew walked around the dark parking lot as he called, first, a tow truck, then, his apparent brother, who didn't answer. Mathew quietly handed the phone back and sighed. Gilbert stuffed his phone in his back pocket and awkwardly (ahem, I mean awesomely) asked, "So is everything all set? Do you have a ride home and all that junk?"

Mathew shuffled his feet and fiddled with the hem of his baggie red hoodie, looking anywhere but Gilbert. He stammered out nervously, "Well, uh, m-my brother f-forgot about me… again. So, he's already asleep a-and didn't answer…. So, n-no, I d-don't have a ride h-home…."

Gilbert frowned, _that won't due. He's too awesome (and cute_ his subconscious said_) to have to walk home. _Gilbert unlocked his car and exclaimed excitedly, "I'll drive you home, Mattie!" He grinned as if it was the best idea ever, and didn't pick up on the deep scarlet blush on Mathew's face.

Still shuffling his feet, Mathew mumbled, "I don't want to be a bother…. It's not that far of a walk… only a few miles…."

"Mattie! You can't walk 'a few miles' at ten-thirty at night! You'll get mugged! Or worse, raped! Get in my car right now!" A slightly possessive tone snuck into Gilbert's voice at the thought of this innocent little Canadian being violated. '

Realizing fighting Gilbert was a lost cause, Mathew sighed, "But I have to w-wait until the tow truck comes…. W-would you really be willing to wait with m-me?" He had become a little more comfortable talking with Gilbert and could now speak with only a slight stutter of nervousness.

Gilbert's answer was automatic, "Of course! It would be totally un-awesome to just leave you here all alone! Being alone really sucks!" He walked around Mathew's car and grabbed the boy's hand and pulled him to the passenger side of Gil's (father's) crimson Porsche, "Get in! I'm cold and it'd be un-awesome to leave you outside!"

He then ran back around and got in the driver's seat and turned on the car. 'I Am Hated' blared from the speakers on practically full blast. Gilbert cursed in German as he rushed to turn it off after Mathew jumped and looked as if he was just slapped. His voice shook a bit as he spoke, "Um, t-that was S-slipknot, r-right?" Shock was apparent on Gil's face as Mathew explained, "I listen to some weird music…."

Slowly, Gil's lop-sided grin returned and he turned the radio back on, but to a much lower level so they could still talk over it. They talked about a lot of things, from what their favorite bands were to what classes they were taking next year. When they found they had the same French class, Gilbert exclaimed, "Awesome! Maybe you could tutor me, seen as you're fluent and stuff…. Because of my Prussian heritage it's really hard for me to talk in French and not sound like I'm puking."

Mathew looked at Gilbert, puzzled, "Prussian...?"

Gilbert chuckled, then explained, "Well, I was born in Germany and lived there until recently when Vater thought that America would be more, uh, accepting of my awesomeness. Mein mutter was from East Germany, and claimed her ancestors had been rulers of Prussia. So she taught me that we were still part Prussian, and because Prussia was a totally awesome country, I've decided that I'm Prussian, not German." His eyes were shining and his smiled fondly as he thought of his Mutter telling stories of their ancestors.

Mathew smiled and said softly, "She sounds like a wonderful mother; I would love to meet her."

At that, Gilbert frowned and looked away from Mathew. His voice was thick with emotion when he spoke, quite a few minutes later, "She's dead, buried far away, in our village in Germany…."

"Oh, I'm so s-sorry…" The Canadian didn't know how to comfort people, so he just looked at his lap and twiddled his thumbs nervously.

"It's fine. It happened a long time ago." Gilbert attempted a smile, but it never reached his eyes. They lapsed into a slightly awkward silence after that.

Thankfully, the tow truck showed up shortly after that, and Mathew got out of the car to deal with him. After the tow truck had hooked up the Canadian's car and drove off, Mathew climbed back into the Porsche, and began directing Gilbert to his house. The ride home was quiet, only the sound of Mathew's directions were heard, as Gilbert had had to turn the radio off to hear his voice.

Soon they pulled up to a quaint house in a small neighborhood. Almost all the lights were off, except for a small lamp on the second floor. Gilbert unlocked the doors and looked to Mathew "Hey, if you ever need a ride again, call me, 'kay? Give me your number and I'll send you a text so you have mine, too."

The Canadian quietly took Gilbert's phone and added his contact information. He handed the phone back and looked at Gilbert, blushing slightly, "Thanks for the ride home, and for w-waiting with me. And, well, just… t-thanks." He got out of the car and began walking up the path towards the front door.

Gilbert rolled down his window and shouted, "Bye, Mattie! Don't forget to call me once in a while!" Mathew couldn't see, but Gilbert smiled genuinely as Mathew looked back and waved.

Later that night, as he lay in his own bed, Gilbert looked through his phone and found **Mathew Williams** as one of his contacts. His frowned, then edited the contact so the name read **Birdie**. _Because he's adorable, just like a fluffy baby chick_, Gil thought with a soft smile on his face.

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**TRANSLATIONS!**

_Je veux que vous… au lit. ~ _I want you... in bed.

_Non merci, Je préfère ne pas aller dans votre lit. Maintenant Laissez-moi tranquille. ~_ No thank you, I would rather not be in bed with you. Now leave me alone.

_Bonne nuit ~_ Good Night

_Verdammt ~ _Damn it

_Sheiße ~ _Shit

I'm assuming you can figure out Vater and Mutter by yourselves... and I used Google translator and Iggy, who hasn't taken French in a while. So if there are any mistakes, just kindly tell me, there's no reason to flame for them!

So yeah, happy Gil at the end! :D Well I'm sorry to say it, but next chapter I don't think he's gunna be as happy... BUT because I can say this the next chapter will POSSIBLY be up either tomorrow or the next day.

Throw me a review if you can, and I hope you enjoyed!


	4. Choose Wisely

Hey hetalians! I'm really sorry, this should have been up on Sunday, but I sorta had a breakdown and wasn't in the mood to write... at all... :/

But anywho, it's here now, and I'm loving each and every review this story gets!3! _Mew I is Dinosaur_ actually gave me an idea for later in the story, so thanks! I really appreciate your support, you guys! :)

By the way, this isn't a happy chapter, so get your tissues ready!

Oh! Almost forgot (again -_-#) **I DON'T HETALIA. AT ALL. AND NEVER WILL. ;_;**

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**Chapter 4:** Choose Wisely

_Sand blasted Gilbert's face as he squinted, trying to figure out where he was. From what he could see through the sand whipping about, he was in a desert plain, in the middle of nowhere. Not knowing where to go, Gilbert wandered aimlessly, bringing his shirt up to cover his nose and mouth from the sand storm._

_Gilbert walked for what seemed like hours, and through the haze of sand he could faintly make out a soft glowing. He ran for it, only to regret his decision when he reached the light. Said light was a lone candle, sitting on a desk. The desk was clearly a unique, the legs were hand carved, depicting an image of tortured human beings holding up the top of the desk. Next to the candle, there sat a statue of an angel exactly like those of the last dream, but made of solid oak._

_The angel cackled, relishing in Gilbert's horror. It spread its wooden wings and floating to mere inches from the albino's face. An evil grin spread across its face as Gilbert heard screams in the distance. In a terrifyingly sweet voice the angel whispered, "You have a choice, Gilbert. You can save your mother, or Mathew. Choose wisely."_

_The albino backed away, a mixture of horror and anger crossing his face. The anger quickly gained dominance, and he spat, "My mother's dead! She was murdered! I tried to save her before, but I couldn't! What makes you think I would fall for that again?" Gilbert's voice grew in volume as tears streamed down his face. The angel just smirked knowingly and, creeping inside Gilbert's mind, showed him the process the angel's had gone through to bring his mother back for him. Shaking his head, Gilbert whispered, "No, this can't be…. What about Mattie? I can't just leave him… but… Mutti…." He looked up at the angel in desperation, raising his voice, "Is there any way I can save them both? Please! I can't lose them!"_

_The angel just cackled as it floated back to the desk sitting next to the candle. It whispered inside Gilbert's head, "Choose wisely" once more before returning to a lifeless statue. Then Gilbert heard screams from his left. _

_They were masculine screams, yet they had a certain feminine tone. Soon, the screams formed words, "Gilbert! Oh, maple, please Gil! I need help! Please, save me! Plea-!" The words were cut off as a blood curdling scream was wrenched from the now-familiar voice._

_Tears streamed down Gilbert's face as he sobbed out the boy's name, "Mathew…. No…. Not Birdie…."_

_In the distance to his right, Gilbert heard screams that were all-too familiar. They were from a woman, a woman that haunted his dreams almost every night. Without thinking, Gilbert turned towards those screams before the words reached her lips and sprinted to her. He knew if he hesitated for even a second she would be gone, just like that day so long ago._

_He ran as fast as he could through the storm, following the screams of his mother. Finally, Gilbert reached a clearing surrounded by fire. A pathway cleared as Gilbert neared, and he ran into the heart of the fire, calling out, "Mutti! Can you hear me? Where are you, Mutti?"_

_He saw a body a little way away from him, and he dashed for it before the fire could consume her. Gilbert fell to his knees at his mother's side, racked by intense sobs. He sat there for a minute, grieving for thinking he was too late, that the angels had taken them both. Slowly his sobs quieted slightly, and Gilbert wiped his tears, wondering why he hadn't woken up yet, seen as both his mother and Mathew are dead. "I'm sorry, Mutti…. I… I couldn't save either of you…. I'm such a failure…."_

_A delicate hand caressed Gilbert's, making him glance up from his sorrows. His mother's eyes were still closed, but she had lifted her head slightly, and there was a faint smile on her lips as she whispered, "You chose me…. Why on earth would you choose me?" _

_Her eye's fluttered open, revealing dull, lifeless irises. Gilbert gasped, shaking his head in denial as the tears came back in full force, "They said they could bring you back, Mutter! You can come to America with me and see Vater and Ludwig! You can come back! Come back with me, Mutter!" He had started sobbing uncontrollably half way through, but his mother had understood._

_She frowned and shook her head sadly. Sitting up, Gilbert's mother pulled him into her lap and rubbing his back soothingly. He wrapped his arms around her and sobbed into her shoulder, taking comfort in his mother's presence. She sat there for a while, whispering calming words to her son, quietly rocking him in her arms. Eventually, the albino's sobs slowed, quieting to only an occasional hiccup. His mother pulled him away so that she could look him in the eye as she said firmly, "Next time, choose Mathew." She held a finger up before he could protest, "I can't come with you. I'm sorry, I truly am liebling, but I'm dead. No matter how powerful the magic, the dead can't come back."_

_A steady stream of tears still rolled down Gilbert's cheeks, and he stuttered slightly when he spoke, "But Mutti… I n-need you to come back. I c-can't deal with this a-alone, it's too difficult."_

_Smiling just a bit, she took Gilbert's hands in hers, and spoke softly, hopefully, "Liebling, you aren't alone. Just look around you; help will come."_

_Suddenly, the forgotten flames around them swelled, sending a wave of heat over the pair, making Gilbert cover his face with his arm. His mother stood up, pulling Gilbert with her as she did. She placed her hands on each side of Gilbert's face, holding him so he was forced to look straight into her eyes, "Gilbert, you must listen to me. I must go now, but don't grieve for me. You should not forget about me, but you must move on. Your life is much too important to waste away grieving for your long-lost mother. Remember, trust those who love you, and ignore any and all insults to your worth, for you and your talent are priceless gifts to the world. Ich liebe dich, Gilbert…. Ich liebe dich."_

_She stepped back from Gilbert, continuing to walk back, into the flames. Just as the flames consumed his mother, Gilbert shouted, "Wait! Ich liebe dich auch! Mutti, don't leave!" He could faintly see her wave in farewell as the flames took her and swelled to an over whelming size. The flames grew and grew, until they finally swallowed Gilbert as well. The heat was unbearable, but all Gilbert could focus on was the aching pit in his chest from losing his mother to the angels again._

_In the distance, Gilbert heard the screams from his left again. They were agonizing, blood curdling cries, but they were different from before. This time, there was no hope in the voice. None. The screams were made from pure pain and suffering. There was no hope that someone would be there to stop the pain. _

_Gilbert felt his strength starting to fail, and quietly, so quietly he could barely hear it himself, he whispered, "I'm sorry Mathew…." With that, his strength disappeared, as if his body realized defeat was inevitable, and Gilbert collapsed, the fire eating away at his motionless form._

Gilbert awoke with a scream, ripping off his blankets, trying to escape the fire. He only stopped when he fell off his bed, onto the dog sitting patiently next to it. Confused, Gilbert tried to calm down from his dream by petting the dog, not even caring who it was.

After a few minutes of just staring at the wall and petting the dog, Gilbert had calmed down enough to look over and see that the dog was Teufel, the only one of Ludwig's three German shepherds that liked Gilbert. The dog barked and licked Gilbert's face, succeeding in getting Gilbert to stand up and open the door. Teufel walked into the hallway, then turned around, barking once more whilst wagging his tail at Gilbert.

"_Verdammt,_ why must you have to piss _now_?" The dog simply barked, following Gilbert happily downstairs. The albino opened the door to the fenced in backyard, jumping back as Teufel sprinted outside, "_Beeile dich_, Teufel." Gilbert sat on the counter, scratching at his bandages while he waited for Teufel to do his business. _I let Mutti go… again…._

When Teufel stumbled back into the house, Gilbert quickly closed the door, and then made his way to his personal bathroom. The albino closed his bedroom door and his bathroom door, locking both. Pulling his shirt off, Gilbert threw it in the hamper, then he slowly unraveled the bandages covering his old cuts. They had healed pretty well, although there were still a few scabs.

Gilbert opened a door under the sink, pulling out his gleaming razor. He sighed, looking down at the only tool of release he had, "I'm sorry Mutter, I know you wouldn't like this…. I just can't help it…. I don't know what else to do. I need help…." He leaned against the wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the cool tile floor.

Closing his eyes, Gilbert brought his hand up and slashed a new gash into his wrist. He watched as the blood flowed from the opening. _That's deeper than _usual, the albino thought happily. He sliced the razor across his vulnerable skin a few more times before it fell to the floor with a clatter. He leaned his head back against the wall, his eyes sliding closed as he did so.

Gilbert smiled as the stinging sensation grew the longer he left his cuts untreated. He chuckled softly, "Yeah, Mutti, I definitely need some help…." The blood continued to flow down his arm, dripping to the floor. Gilbert sat for an unknown length of time, just relishing in the physical pain and the feel of his blood leaving its veins. Slowly, Gilbert's thoughts grew fuzzy and unfocused. The blurriness grew until Gilbert slipped from the waking world, falling into the black abyss of his subconscious mind.

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**TRANSLATIONS!**

_Liebling ~ _term of endearment, such as Love, Sweetheart, Honey, etc.

_Ich liebe dich (auch) ~ _I love you (too)

_Beeile dich ~ _Hurry up

_Mutti_ is just shortened _Mutter_, so like Mom, or Mommy

I didn't really know what to name Ludwig's dogs, so I just looked up a slightly relevant term. Teufel means Demon in German :)

Other than Teufel I knew all of these terms from past experiences with either friends who take German or actual German exchange students so I don't think there are any problems with the translations, but if there are let me know.

I probably won't post for a few days as July 4th is this week, but I promise to get the next chapter to you as soon as I can! (Reviews would definitely motivate me to post quicker, too... Just sayin') I love you all and I hope you enjoyed!


	5. Feel Better

I'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSorryI'mSooooooooooooooSorry!

EXCUSE TIME~!: So I broke my laptop ;_; and I got grounded for a month, then my mother made me pay for a new one (All by myself!) so it took a while to find enough money for that... Again I'M SORRY!

But on a better note, if there are any followers left I'm happy to tell you this is a fairly fluffy chapter! I was listening to Alex Day while writing this and it just happened... So... Yeah... No tissues needed! :D

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**Chapter Five: **Feel Better

It had been a few days since he had blacked out on his bathroom floor, and Gilbert had thoroughly thought over his dream. _Mutti said I should save Mattie. . . . Save him from what, though?_

Gilbert had talked to Mattie many times since getting his number, and had found out quite a bit about him. He lived with his mother and his twin brother, Alfred, but was always forgotten so he had to fend for himself most of the time. Mathew worked at the movie theater almost every day and always on Fridays and Saturdays. Work got in the way a lot, but Mathew also helped out at animal shelters around town. He loved animals, especially polar bears, and wanted to save every animal that was ever hurt. It was really cute how caring Mattie was, and Gilbert had become quite fond of him.

_I miss my Birdie. . . I'll go visit him at work!_ Gil quickly made himself presentable and ran out the door, grabbing the keys to his brand new motorcycle. His Vater had bought it when Gilbert had suddenly asked to borrow the Porsche almost every day after school. After the incident at the theater Gil had taken to driving Mattie places whenever he could. He didn't trust Mattie's piece of junk to get him places safely and he trusted Alfred even less to pick Mathew up if his junker failed… again.

When he reached the theater, Gil parked his bike and, after taking his helmet off, checked in the mirror to fix his hair. Satisfied, he walked up to the door and glanced in, seeing Mattie at the snack counter, as usual. He looked extremely bored, even a little sad. Purchasing a ticket for Madagascar 3, Gilbert sauntered into the theater, thankfully unseen by the Canadian. He snuck behind the counter, inching towards Mattie as if he were on a mission in Assassin's Creed. When Gil was right behind him, he shouted "Surprise!" and tackled Mattie into a hug.

Mathew let out a cry of surprise, then realized who it was that had just tackled him. The smaller boy tried to push Gil off, but the stronger teen just squeezed him into a crushing bear hug. "Mattie! I figured you'd be bored at this stupid counter so I came to distract you with my awesomeness! Kesesese~"

Finally being put down, Mattie gasped out, "Gil, you aren't supposed to be behind the counter…." His face was red from lack of oxygen and embarrassment from the big hug he had just received. Looking up at Gilbert's smiling face, he giggled and blushed more, "I'll be off of work in an hour or so, come back then…."

Gilbert laughed and grabbed Mathew's wrist, pulling him from behind the counter, "No way, I'm not wasting my awesome time waiting for 'work' to be over," he scrunched up his face in disgust at the offensive word, receiving another giggle from Mathew. "I'm sneaking you in to see Madagascar with me, seen as French Fry and Churro won't see it with me. It'll be totally awesome!"

The small Canadian had an apprehensive look on his face as he whispered, "But I could get fired if I get caught watching a movie instead of doing my job…."

Gil had continued to pull Mathew towards the cinema as he exclaimed, "So don't get caught, Mattie! I thought you were the smart one!" He ruffled Mathew's hair as the neared the cinema.

As they walked in, Mattie looked over to see Gilbert genuinely excited about seeing the children's movie. He sighed, "Fine, but if I get fired I'm blaming you." He pouted cutely as he flopped into an uncomfortable cinema chair. He glanced at Gil again and saw he had pulled out a bag of skittles and was busy trying to open the package. The Canadian smiled softly, then wiggled down into his seat, trying to get comfortable.

X*X*X*Page Break*X*X*X

The movie was entertaining, but all Gilbert could think about was the adorable Canadian next to him, and how reluctant he was to watch go to the movie with him. _Maybe he isn't as fond of me as I thought... Or maybe he just doesn't like circuses… yeah that must be it. _The Prussian glanced over at the other boy and caught him looking back. Mathew glanced away quickly, and Gil could have sworn he saw the small teen blush.

Smiling a goofy grin, Gil bumped his knee into Mathew's, successfully causing him to glance up. His blush grew deeper, and he smiled weakly, "A-are you enjoying the m-movie?" _His smile is so adorable. I wonder what his lips feel like…. Wait, what?! _Gil ran his hand through his hair, nodding, then turned back to the movie. _I CAN'T have a crush on him. I don't even know if he's gay, or if he's even okay with homosexuals. We never talked about girls… but that doesn't mean he likes guys. Besides, even if he was gay, why would he want someone like me? _

For the rest of the movie, Gilbert slid down into his chair and stared straight at the screen. When the credits began scrolling on, he turned to Mathew and asked, "Ready to go home?" He tried a smile, but all he could manage was a twitch of his lips. He jumped up and turned towards the exit.

His companion stood up, giving him a worried look, "Are you all right, Gil?" he followed said Prussian out commenting, "You look kind of upset…."

Gilbert grinned, closing his eyes so Mathew couldn't see the deep sadness in the pools of red. He laughed out, "Kesese~ I'm not just all right, I'm awesome!" They walked over the where the employees punch out, and Mathew got his things while Gilbert fell back and waited at the door.

As they made their way to Gil's motorcycle, Mathew kept glancing up to Gilbert's face, looking for signs of distress, but the larger boy kept a mask of content plastered to his face. They climbed onto the motorcycle, Mathew wrapping his arms around Gilbert's waist, and they set off towards the Canadian's house.

Gilbert drove faster than usual, eager to get the night over. He was not in the mood to stay and chat with his little Canadian friend, especially after the realization that he may be falling for said Canadian. At one point, he sped past a large eighteen-wheeler truck, and he felt Mathew tighten his grip around his waist. He thought he had heard Mathew whimper and say "Slow down, please" but he couldn't be sure, and didn't want to slow down anyway.

They reached the house in a very short time, and Gil pulled up the drive-way and kicked down his kick stand, pulling off his helmet as he did so. Mathew climbed off the back and took his helmet off as well, looking quite pale in the dim light. He looked down, and said softly, "Thanks for the ride, again…. I really appreciate it, Gil." The small boy looked up innocently and smiled at Gil.

Gilbert smirked, "Well it's not like I could just let someone as awesome as you be lonely…" He looked down at his handlebars, thinking only about how lonely he, himself, felt at that moment. _Why does my chest ache like this? It's not like he's leaving me…right?_ He shook his head, trying to clear it of the thoughts haunting him. Looking up at the stars, the Prussian chuckled, "No, you definitely can't be lonely. That'd be so un-awesome…."

Mathew started to turn towards his house, then turned back to Gil, walking up next to him. Gently, he placed his hand on Gilbert's and pressed his lips to Gilbert's cheek. As Gil looked over at him in surprise, he smiled and said sweetly, "Feel better, Gil. I'll see you later." The small Canadian then turned on his heels and ran into his house, leaving a dumbfounded Gilbert sitting in his driveway.

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Happy chapter is happy...ish

I have no idea when I'll update again..but I'm hoping for next week sometime. In the meantime, I have a question for anyone still there. I'm considering where I want to take this story, and there are two main options: Supernatural and Realistic

It'd be awesome if you could leave a review saying which you would prefer~!


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